The Cemetery

An exploration of legacy, purpose, and death

PT 1

I’ve had COVID so I haven’t been able to leave my room for quite some time. I told myself I would get outside and do something today, so I went for a run/walk. I came across a graveyard, a site that is usually only visited in the context of death. I stepped in, because I was curious.

The first thing that catches the eye when stumbling into this setting is the gravestones. They vary: some are fresh, some are ancient, some are littered with gifts, but the biggest difference is size. Some are the size of a paperback and some look like the Las Vegas Eiffel Tower. It’s no secret that gravestones are an industry in themselves (they cost thousands, even though they’re just engraved rocks). Why is that? Who is buying them? Assumedly, it is the deceased themselves or their nuclear families. 

This isn’t the only thing that costs more money than it’s worth. This falls under a category of assets in which the price you pay ultimately ties the value of the asset. What else? Wedding rings are expensive because you are putting tangible value on your partner? Luxury items are a status symbol. I would make the argument that gravestones, too, can be a status symbol. Although, it is moreso a clear attempt to root a person’s legacy in a world that rotates no differently the day you’ve left earth.

I thought to myself, “what’s the point of these giant gravestones, what are we trying to prove here.” If anything, a cemetery is the most pressing and clear reminder that we are all going to the same place and there is no sanctity in materialism. I assume that if it is a purchase by a loved one, it is a presentation of love, which is honorable. If it is purchased by the deceased, is it vanity or a last run at legacy, is there something there? I use the gravestone as representative of a broader theme here.

It’s clear that legacy is important to many, and it is often considered the MOST important thing. What even is legacy? Legacy is a way to tie meaning to a life lived. From Jordan Peterson, men seek purpose, and that is why they are so gravitated towards his philosophy. This is true for myself and only becomes increasingly true as we age. We tie purpose to our lives because we see the world as a utilitarian to survive and we only surround ourselves with items to serve that purpose. We use shovels, knives, and keyboards. Everything plays a role in our lives and serves a purpose. It is nearly impossible to find something in someone’s house that does NOT have a purpose.

Sparing the evolutionary sense of this idea, when we ask the meaning of life, many search but do not find it. I would argue these are the only ones who are honest with themselves. The reason that it has not been found is that it does not exist. The question that we ask of life’s meaning is problematic in itself, it is layered with the dogmatic structure of the English language. Words themselves are too inflexible to approach this topic because they themselves were created to abstract meaning. Further and more importantly, the structure of the question is quite literally an attempt to tie a purpose to life itself. A better question is “what is life?” and not in some biological sense, but in an essence. Even then, I noone has an answer.

PT 2

I wanted to touch on one thing again. The cemetery reminds us where we are all going, down 6 ft. That is a (literally) grounding realization. One that forces us to take a step back. It is easy to get caught up in the little missions of life, but we are all in this together. Now with that said, what is the goal?

I have thought about something since our COO and I last spoke. I think the perfect leader is one that is the least agreeable inwardly, but the most agreeable outwardly. This is not a breakthrough, Machiavelli advises a prince to appear as agreeable as possible, but act otherwise. This resonates with me.

I bring this up because many CEOs like Elon Musk and Peter Thiel mark low in agreeableness, but willingly sacrifice their well-being for the sake of humanity (perhaps this is a facade). I imagine it is possible that despite low agreeableness on the micro-level, these individuals are actually highly in touch with the heart of humanity - the approach is just a bit different and a bit colder.