“An introvert’s brain responds differently to stimuli than an extrovert’s brain. Rather than extracting energy from social situations, introverts create their own energy.”
In my youth, Winter was my favorite month, and I never pinned down why. I had a great neighborhood and summers were filled with outdoor activities, backyard football, and building strong connections with people that became my best friends. Despite summers being more “fun,” Winter and I always resonated on the same wavelength. The cold is associated with “Winter Depression,” causing social withdrawal and depression. Still, I loved Winter. After some years, I found that I actually enjoy Winter because of the separation from others.
It’s first important to dissect the words “fun,” “enjoyment,” and “happiness.” Our culture has ingrained in us an association of these to self-actualization and the premise that human existence is merely an attempt to capture these fleeting emotions. In reality, happiness is a carrot on a stick, it’s fluffy, and a facade.
Often cited reasons for enjoying isolation are: (1) enjoying the quiet, (2) ability to engage in activities that really interest me, (3) valuing privacy, (4) helping to stay in touch with inner feelings. Only #2 can be considered fun, but many would still choose these activities over conventionally energizing activities. Why is that?
Ceteris paribus, humans are purpose-seeking. Through maturity, adults tend to focus increasingly on this. See my first essay, THE CEMETERY. I was first introduced to the concept of improvement when I was 12. At some point, I decided that it was really important I became good at soccer; it was something to work towards, and I soon became addicted to the progress. You could find me playing from morning to sunset every day. I didn’t need anyone to join me, my company was enough. This was my first taste of progress, which fueled the competitive rigor leading to achievements in years to come–all of which took sacrifice that inspired pride.
No human’s path is the same. We are all here to fulfill our own destiny. The problem is that spending time with others is often dilutive to achieving self-actualization. Those who are focused seem to be more withdrawn, but this is simply because they have more important matters to tend to, even if in their own head. This is why words like “fun” don’t capture the energy that is found in solitude or the wavelength that I find in Winter.
When we are alone, we tend towards our natural selves. Being around others can be constricting in that sense, it pulls from introverts’ internal energy. It can feel like we are being strangled from our creative energy. Society isn’t set up to support this type, which is why it took so long to discover I was an introvert. When I am alone, I discover a form of creativity that is not possible around others. An energy is created that can’t be replicated socially. Personally, this will be something I will try to explore more in the years to come. Others should as well.